A former San Diego supervisor’s rehab account reveals how a horse named Star reshaped trauma recovery

No one usually arrives at inpatient rehab during a stable period of life, and this account from former San Diego County Supervisor Nathan Fletcher describes a period marked by professional collapse, personal strain, and treatment for trauma.

In a reflective narrative, Fletcher outlines how his entry into a rehabilitation facility in Arizona became less about public perception and more about confronting long-standing psychological distress, including PTSD and emotional shutdown.

Background

Fletcher describes a rapid decline from public office to withdrawal from political life following allegations tied to his personal conduct. While he notes that some accusations were later dismissed, the broader consequences were immediate and lasting, resulting in his resignation and departure from public responsibilities.

In his account, he emphasizes that his decision to seek treatment was not framed as a public rehabilitation effort but as a necessity after reaching a point of physical and emotional depletion. He describes severe weight loss, ongoing insomnia, and symptoms consistent with long-term trauma exposure.

He also connects these struggles to earlier experiences, including military service involving high-risk operations and exposure to combat environments, as well as a difficult childhood. He describes these combined experiences as contributing to persistent psychological stress that had not been fully addressed before entering treatment.

Admission

Fletcher recounts arriving at an inpatient trauma facility in Arizona with his wife, describing the moment as controlled on the surface but unstable internally. Standard intake procedures included removal of personal belongings, medical screening, and initial psychological assessment.

He describes a noticeable emotional disconnect during intake, noting that routine questions felt difficult to process and respond to. Shortly afterward, he reports experiencing an acute emotional breakdown, which staff assisted him through using basic breathing guidance techniques.

The early phase of treatment, according to his account, was marked by disorientation and emotional exhaustion, with limited ability to articulate what he was experiencing.

Environment

He describes the treatment setting as structured and clinical, with controlled conditions intended to stabilize patients. Initial isolation in a windowless room is described as overwhelming, with heightened awareness of physical sensations such as heartbeat and environmental noise.

This stage of the experience reflects a common approach in trauma care, where stabilization precedes therapeutic intervention. Fletcher notes that during this time, emotional processing was largely absent, replaced by physical symptoms of stress and shutdown.

Horses

A turning point in his account comes through equine-assisted therapy. Fletcher describes being introduced to a horse named Star, under the guidance of a therapist who encouraged nonverbal presence rather than directed interaction.

Initial attempts to approach the horse were unsuccessful. The animal consistently moved away, which the therapist later explained as a response to perceived emotional instability or lack of grounding.

The core principle of the therapy, as described, is that horses respond to nonverbal cues and physiological states. They do not interpret language or intention in abstract terms but instead react to emotional consistency and perceived safety.

Over repeated sessions, Fletcher describes shifting his approach from performance-based behavior to simply remaining present without trying to influence the animal’s reaction. Over time, the horse reportedly began to approach and engage more directly, which he interpreted as a sign of increased emotional steadiness.

EMDR

The narrative then moves to Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, a clinical treatment used for trauma processing. Fletcher describes the method as involving alternating sensory stimulation while recalling distressing memories.

He explains that early attempts to engage with traumatic memories resulted in emotional suppression rather than processing. According to his account, long-term avoidance had created a sense of emotional numbness that extended beyond trauma memories into daily life.

During EMDR sessions, he reports that suppressed emotional responses surfaced more directly, creating intense physical and emotional reactions. These moments were described as difficult but central to the therapeutic process.

The goal of EMDR, as outlined, is to help the brain reprocess fragmented traumatic memories so they can be integrated without overwhelming emotional response.

Reflection

Fletcher’s account emphasizes gradual change rather than sudden recovery. He describes the presence of the horse during difficult therapeutic moments as grounding, particularly during periods of intense emotional activation.

He also reflects on the role of relationships and external support systems, noting that while he experienced isolation internally, support from family and friends remained present throughout his difficulties. A key theme in his reflection is the distinction between being unloved and being unable to perceive support that already exists.

The narrative suggests that recovery, in his experience, involved reducing emotional avoidance rather than eliminating painful memories. The focus shifted toward tolerating discomfort while remaining present in the moment.

Ultimately, the account frames therapy as a combination of structured clinical treatment and experiential grounding techniques that together supported emotional stabilization over time.

This perspective highlights how trauma recovery can involve both psychological interventions and environmental factors that reinforce calm and presence. It also underscores the complexity of reintegration after periods of prolonged stress, where progress is often gradual and non-linear.

The account presents a structured view of trauma recovery through both clinical treatment and experiential therapy, illustrating how exposure to controlled environments, therapeutic techniques like EMDR, and nonverbal interaction with animals can contribute to emotional processing. Rather than describing a single turning point, it reflects a layered process of adjustment, stabilization, and gradual reconnection with emotional experience.

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